At some point, the previous owners had a burst of dubious renovation energy. The result? Couldn't rip it out fast enough.

Follow along as we do our best to undo some of the damage. And cut miter joints. Without the benefit of power tools.

The next time we have an ice storm, we'll actually be able to to get down our front porch without worry that we'll, you know, crack our heads open.

In which we become the envy of the neighborhood.

Surely you want to know what caused me to say: "FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY WHY WOULD ANYONE DO SOMETHING SO INCREDIBLY STUPID AND OMG SO HALF-ASSED THAT IT GIVES HALF-ASSEDNESS A BAD NAME AND SERIOUSLY WOULDN'T YOU JUST HAVE TO CHECK OUT OF THE HUMAN RACE IF YOU WERE THAT LAZY BECAUSE OXYGEN IS COMPLETED WASTED ON YOU?"

Our version of Extreme Home Makeover begins.

It's like liposuction: very messy and a big pain in the ass, but the results speak for themselves.

Making the outside as pretty as the inside...it's the Ugly Duckling story of home improvement!

Finishing up our screens juuuuust in time for the hot weather to end. Irony: it's what's for breakfast.

We're pleased to announce that our front and back porches are no longer A Million Dollar Liability Lawsuit Waiting To Happen.

Before, during, and after. Or, transformation from Upscale Crack House to the prettiest house on the block (in our very unbiased opinion, of course).